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HODGE-PODGE
from King Pellinore’s
Fables You Don’t Want to Hear
The Security Guards and the
Pumpkin
One evening a Sparrow was surprised to be stopped by
two large Crows at the edge of the pumpkin patch which lay
between the sparrow and his house, where his wife and three
children were waiting for him. The Crows said, "You cannot
fly over the pumpkin patch until we have frisked you
thoroughly to make sure you are not a threat."
The Sparrow said, "I don't understand. I fly this route
every evening and never before have I been stopped."
"New policy," said the Crows. "Someone has been stealing
the pumpkins and flying away with them, so now we are
compelled to frisk every bird who wants to fly over the
pumpkin patch."
The tiny bird protested, "Nonsense. I'm a Sparrow. I
couldn't possibly steal any pumpkins, even if I wanted to. You
may have a problem with stolen pumpkins, but it is clearly
and indisputably not I who is making off with them. I will not
submit to your frisking. Now let me pass."
But they would not let him pass, and instead had him
arrested on the spot, and he never saw his wife and children
again.
Moral: If you are looking for a pumpkin thief, start your
search among those who can lift pumpkins.
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