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HODGE-PODGE

Since I’ve been away there’s
been a decided driŌing away
from grammaƟcal accuracy,
and it’s driving me baƩy. Listen
for the mistakes which I shall
point out in these pages, and if
you’re one of the ones making
them, well...stop it.

Apostrophe. I always say you can tell
the meƩle of a person's character from
his use of the apostrophe. So, be wary, I
am judging you. Use the apostrophe to
indicate possession, not plurality. Thus
write: "We have oranges for sale" and
not "We have orange's for sale." Thus write: "We have books for sale" and not "We
have book's for sale." I shall buy neither your oranges nor your books if you pluralize
them with an apostrophe, and I trust that you, Readers, will join me in similar
boycoƩs.

Readers: We will join you in all such boycoƩs, Pellinore. We shall join no
boycoƩ's, but only boycoƩs.

Pellinore: You are such loyal readers. Say it with me; let us all say it together.

Readers with Pellinore: (bowing their heads) "Form the possessive singular of nouns
by adding apostrophe S. Follow the rule whatever the final consonant."

Pellinore: Well done. Thus write "Jack's car broke down" but not "It took two
jack's to repair it". Do you see? A singular noun is made plural by
adding an S. The apostrophe makes it possessive.

Reader: We think we understand, Pellinore, but we don't want you judging us,
or at least, not negaƟvely so, so might we list some examples, in an
aƩempt to show you our meƩle?

Pellinore: You're very brave, Readers. Proceed.

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